10 Ways To Self-Sabotage Through Perfectionism!
Get ready to delve into the world of perfectionism with "10 Rules for Mastering the Art of Self-Sabotage through Perfectionism!"
Start Your Day with Unrealistic Goals: Rise and shine, it's time to set the bar so high even a pole-vaulter would break a sweat. Remember, if your goals don't scare you, they're not big enough...or impossible enough.
Turn Every Error into a Personal Failure: This one is crucial. Missed a comma in your email? Clearly, you're an imposter in your own life. Burned the toast? You're destined to a life of mediocrity.
Reject Constructive Criticism: Other people’s input? Blasphemy! Why would you need that when you can recycle your own destructive self-criticism?
Obsess Over the Details: Lose yourself in the labyrinth of minute details. Who cares about finishing that novel when you could spend the whole day pondering the perfect adjective to describe your protagonist's shoe colour? If you're not investing hours in deciding the exact shade of blue for a tiny blotch of sky in your painting, are you even a true artist?
Compare Yourself Relentlessly: Your achievements are only as good as your neighbour's. If they’ve run a marathon, you better be ready to scale Mount Everest. And remember, social media is your best friend in this journey of constant comparison.
Procrastinate Perpetually: Since you're aiming for absolute perfection, start only when every single condition is right. If not, well, there's always tomorrow, next week, or the next decade.
Live in the Future: Today is overrated. Real life happens in the land of future where you have won a Nobel Prize, written a bestseller, and also figured out how to fold a fitted sheet.
Run From Risks: Risks lead to possible failure and we don't do failure. Stick to the safe lane. Comfort zones might not make great stories, but who wants those messy, imperfect tales anyway?
Don't Celebrate Small Wins: Focus only on the monumental victories. Managed to write the first page of your book? Nah, call me when it's a New York Times Best Seller.
And lastly, Fear Creativity: Creativity breeds mess and uncertainty. Stick to rules, guidelines, and checklists. Why colour outside the lines when you can create a pixel-perfect copy of reality?
So there you have it, folks! Stick to these commandments of creative perfectionism and you can ensure a lifetime supply of self-doubt, procrastination, and the sweet, sweet taste of underachievement.
Until we meet again, remember to panic, worry, and never, I repeat, NEVER accept good enough as good enough.